My Dad, my inspiration

My Dad was my inspiration for this blog. It was something that I had wanted to do for a long time but did not feel that my life was interesting enough, or, that I had enough time to dedicate to this blog. That all changed on the 1st of October last year. My Dad, Bernie, aged 81 was in and out of hospital for quite along time with blood and kidney problems. Eventually, as agreed he began kidney dialysis in the summer of 2011. This was going to be the beginning and end of all his health problems. As hard as it seemed that he would have to go to hospital three times a week, to be hooked up to a machine for several hours a day, it seemed worth it, if it was going to give him a good quality of life for the other four days a week. He was not keen but basically there was no alternative. The doctors and nurses said that it would be four to five weeks before we noticed an improvement. Well we waited but he only seemed to get worse. Eventually they did a lumber puncture.

I had a cold so decided that it was best that I did not visit him this particular day and then I got the phone call. It was a Saturday, my eldest sister Joy phoned, , I kind of expected it. "Its not good news" were her words. I went onto autopilot, stuff the cold, I needed to be with him and my mum. My eldest sister picked me up and we drove there, there were lots of tears and total disbelief about what was happening.

My Dad was diagnosed with leukaemia and was given 3-6 months, selfishly I thought please don't die at Christmas, I love Christmas and didn't want it tarnished with such a sad thing happening. We bought my Dad home and had help from the Macmillan nurses to nurse and care for Dad at home. None of us could stand the thought of him going into a hospice and dying there.

Dad died peacefully on the 27th October 2011 just after 9pm. He had seen his three daughters and wife that day, whether he was aware or not we will never know.

My tribute to my Dad that I read at his funeral:

A Tribute For My Dad

I wanted to write something about my Dad, but didn’t know where to start.

No amount of words are enough to sum up how much I loved him and what a special man he was.

To me, my Dad was the best dad in the world and gave so much to me. I have such cherished memories of my childhood and things we did together – not the most conventional dad/daughter past times – skinning fish, making cider and mushroom hunting! We also spent many happy family days out at Pagham beach where Dad kept his boat. Myself, Nick and Min would be given some money and sent off to the slot machines, anything for a bit of peace and quiet!

 I know now that money was tight and Dad and Mum worked hard to give us a good life and I never felt I went without.

 About 10 years ago Dad got an allotment and I soon followed him when one became available. We spent some special times there, working together on each others allotment and would both come away after a hard days work feeling a real sense of achievement.

 I will miss you so much Dad and I am proud to have called you my Dad.

 Till we meet again and I know we will, I love you so much and thank you.

I know that this may seem a morbid opening to my blog but it is important that you all understand what the inspiration was to me starting this blog.    


Big hugs, Sam (AKA Dottie May) xxxxxx